Learning by Doing
Life is the only true teacher, and innovators know this. If you're trying to do something that hasn't been done before, books and courses can only offer clues. The real lessons are hard earned. They come from experiments and experience. This is good, because there's no homework. There's nothing extra to do that takes away from your current projects, but it's challenging. It's hard to learn in the wild.
Let's dive in!
Fitness
The first important concept you'll need to understand for your personal development is called fitness. If you're an athlete this will be very familiar.
Fitness is a set of ideas about how to become and remain skillful at something. We almost always think of fitness as in “physical fitness,” but the concept applies to languages, math and programming skills, even emotions and relationships. If you don't practice a foreign language, your fluency will deteriorate. If you want to make your legs very strong, you're going to have to lift heavier and heavier weights. The same goes for something like courage. If you want a be more courageous, you're going to have to face your fears. The resistance used to make your muscles stronger is not so different from the resistance used to enhance leadership skills or emotional intelligence.
So, remember, learning is not a simple sequencial procedure. Staying in shape, or being “fit,” is a messy, dangerous, complex, progressive journey, and it requires dedication, hard work, and a tamed ego.
The way we manage this complex process of developing fitness, is through habit tracking.
Habit Tracking
Tracking your progress is crucial, so pause your reading here and take a moment to download a habit tracker if you haven't already. I use Loop Habit Tracker.
Loop is a habit tracking app. It's simple and awesome. If you're on iPhone, use Habit Bull or your favorite habit tracking app.
If you want to develop a new habit, you just add it to the habit tracker, and check in on it at the end of every day.
Why every day?
Frequency is pretty much the decisive factor in habit formation. If you do something every single day, it will become a habit.
There's no homework in real life
There's no homework, or class time. Life provides opportunities to practice your new habits.
Let's say you want to learn to make better eye contact with people. Put Eye Contact in your habit tracker, but use language that evokes emotion in you. For example in my habit tracker I wrote Gaze deeply into people's eyes, because the moments we have together are few and precious. Language matters : )
Throughout the course of your day, as you meet with people, or even if you're just looking at people on your computer screen, make a point of making eye contact (Don't stare. If you need to learn about what a healthy amount of eye contact is, google around for some pointers.).
Then at the end of the day, give yourself a check for that habit.
The most important thing you can do is fail
The first time you miss a day is the most important day for your learning. Ask yourself why you missed today. Why did you lapse on eye contact or whatever your habit was? Was it fatigue, stress, heartbreak? This is your chance to learn. Embrace failure for its lessons : )
Be careful though. Your goal is not to have a perfect score on all your habits.
It's about progress... not perfection
Progress is what's important, not perfection. If you do have a perfect score, that means you haven't been challenging yourself. Don't expect to ever feel great about all your habits. Bettering yourself is a struggle, and it should feel like a struggle. It's okay : )
You have to go to the gym and feel the pain of tearing your muscles in order for them to build back stronger. The same is true in learning anything else. If you're not struggling, you're not learning.
Now, that doesn't mean that you can't absolutely enjoy the process : ) Developing yourself can be one of the most fulfilling aspects of your life, and it will make you a more capable contributor to the people around you.
One At a Time
Don't try to develop ten new habits all at once. Pace yourself. Build one habit until it's strong, and then add a second.
The rule of thumb I use is that I try to make a five day streak on a newly added habit before adding another one.
Learning is Social
Learning by yourself is great, but learning with the support of others is much better.
Share your learning with friends. Join a group, or start a club. You don't need to be alone in your learning process.
